He was awarded an OBE in 1977. Throughout his career, Howerd hid his potentially career-destroying homosexuality from both his audience and his mother, Edith. In 1958, he met wine waiter Dennis Heymer at the Dorchester Hotel while dining with Sir John Mills; Howerd was 40 and Heymer was 28. Heymer became his lover as well as manager, and stayed with him for more than thirty years, until Howerd's death, with Heymer helping to revive Howerd's flagging career in the 1960s. However, the two had to remain discreet as Howerd feared being blackmailed if anyone beyond his immediate circle found out. The relationship was explored in 2008 in a drama for BBC Four, 'Rather You Than Me', starring David Walliams and Rafe Spall.
Backstage, Howerd was notoriously bold in his advances, and was known for his promiscuity. A few years ago I was chatting by chance with a man who had been part of a Scout group who had been to see Frankie in a show. His recollection of the time (which I had decided not to include out of respect) certainly adds credibility to this claim.
One of Howerd's former boyfriends was comic actor Lee Young who created the TV sitcom Whoops Baghdad (1973) for him. Howerd's uncomfortable relationship with his sexuality – he once said to Cilla Black, "I wish to God I wasn't gay" – as well as his depressive mental state, led him to seek resolution through a series of different methods. Heymer would often drop Howerd off on Friday at his psychiatrist, who would ply him with LSD over the weekend. This experience was later the subject of the March 2015 BBC Radio 4 drama 'Frankie Takes a Trip'.
In his early career Howerd suffered from a stutter, which caused him some distress. Close friend Cilla Black said in 2008: "That devastated him" adding, "Often he'd be physically ill with stage fright."